Leaving You Behind
by Renkhal
Summary: A one-shot Mako/Ami scene. Mako's leaving bright and early the day after graduation and no one knows about it. Then Ami shows up soaked and distraught. What's going to happen between the two now that they both know something is wrong?


**This is a one-shot that I've been wanting to write and post for a while now, and just randomly decided to just get it done and posted, so... yeah.**

**I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense sometimes. Just give me a message, and I'll go back later and fix it.**

**Enjoy!**

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Makoto looked at her checklist.

_Apartment sold… check!_

_All belongings minus two bags full of clothes and necessities… check!_

_Anything else to keep in storage… check!_

_New living quarters in order… check!_

_Plane tickets… _Makoto shuddered. That was one part of this whole plan she utterly despised. It wasn't that she was afraid… she was just frightened beyond all mortal belief with that irrational fear that had been harbored since childhood when her parents were killed in a plane crash. _Check._

_Something to keep me calm for the flight… double check. I bought two bottles of wine for the night before, and one is safely hidden inside a bottle for the ride._

_Saying my goodbyes…_

Makoto sighed. That was going to be the part she would hate the most. She had some good friends here; they'd been through so much together. And so far they had no clue what she'd been planning all week. Visits to her house had been denied with every reason she could think of, from fleas to being just plain old dirty. The lack of cookies kept Usagi at bay.

Tomorrow was their graduation, and her last day with her friends. The following morning she'd be getting on a plane to America, and hopefully without anyone realizing it until she was gone. Makoto had written personalized letters to each friend, too, explaining everything and apologizing for her unorthodox departure.

Ami was going to be the toughest one to avoid tomorrow… She told her just about everything, almost.

"Almost" being the keyword. Makoto still couldn't bring herself to admit her feelings to the blue-haired genius; just like she couldn't bring herself to keep from asking her to help her study for subjects she knew she wouldn't have any problems with, thanks to all the tutoring and such through middle school and the first year of high school.

Sighing, Makoto heated up some leftovers and relaxed on the floor of her living room, a stereo playing softly in the background as she ate. The apartment was so empty, and Makoto couldn't help but feel a little remorseful for the way she was leaving behind her first true home. There were so many memories in that little apartment.

Finishing her dinner, Makoto sighed and went into the kitchen to wash up the Tupperware dish. As soon as she had turned off the water and dried and put away the dish into her final box for storage, there was a knock on the door. Makoto tensed up and stared at the wooden feature less than ten feet from where she was presently standing. It would be one of her friends, she knew, and most likely Usagi or Ami, with Ami being the most probable even out of the two of them; Ami being the last person Makoto wanted to see right then.

Still, she couldn't just ignore the door. What if it was something important, something worth her secret being exposed? She couldn't just leave Ami out there if she had a problem; it would make her feel awful about it later when she did find out what had brought the young woman to her door.

With a resigned sigh, Makoto walked up to the door and opened it slowly. There stood a soaked Ami, her eyes red from crying, and it tore Makoto all the way to the core. Yes, if Ami was crying, it was more than worth it to risk her secret being found out…

Her secret… of running away from the person who was standing there in front of her; the truth hit Makoto at the moment their eyes met, the eyes that seemed to always manage to cause the tall brunette to lower all her defenses and just open herself to the smaller woman.

"Ami… What's wrong?" Makoto asked, opening the door a little more so Ami could come inside.

"I had an argument with my mother about my future. She doesn't approve of a few of my decisions, one of them being the college I chose and the program I was going there for," Ami answered as she walked in. She looked around, her eyes betraying her confusion. "Mako, why is your apartment so empty? Are you moving?"

"Yeah, I am," Makoto said. Then, before that line of questioning could continue, she asked, "So what program is your mother so against? You want to teach, right? That's not a bad profession to get into. Besides, you've got tons of practice after having to teach the rest of us."

Ami chuckled softly and looked at Makoto. "Especially Usagi, though you and Minako could give her a run for her money some days."

Makoto gave her a slightly embarrassed chuckle and led Ami to her bedroom. There was still the futon and a chest of clothes in there, and with Ami being soaked she would need a change of clothes. And if she had a fight with her mother, it could only be assumed that she had walked all the way to the apartment. A soft and comfortable seat would probably be preferable to the hard floor of the living room.

"Is she upset because she really wanted you to be a doctor?"

"I think so. She was more upset about the other thing than about my college decisions."

Makoto was shocked to hear Ami's voice get more fierce and confident when she said that, and handed the genius a pair of shorts and a t-shirt with a confused expression. Ami smiled thankfully as she took the clothes and went into the bathroom to change and hang her clothes up to dry.

Ami returned a few minutes later to find Makoto sitting down with two cups of hot tea in her hands.

"Thank you," she said, taking one and sitting down beside her. Makoto just nodded and looked outside at the storm that was starting to get stronger. The rain had been coming down fairly hard for a few hours, but now it was starting to get heavy and making it harder to see some of the buildings.

"Ami, I've been trying to think of everything that could possibly cause your mother to get even more upset than something she might deem a poor educational decision, but I'm coming up with nothing based on your stories of her," Makoto said suddenly.

"Yeah, it surprised me too, honestly. I didn't think she'd be so… negative toward this particular subject, especially since she knows the variables involved so well."

_Yeah, that definitely narrowed it down, Ami. Thanks,_ Makoto grumbled inwardly. She sighed and set down her cup of tea before turning to the girl in question.

"Just say it, Ami. I can't help if I don't know what's going on, and I can't take knowing that something's bugging you and I can't do something to help!" she exclaimed.

Ami smirked. "You're one to talk."

"Huh?"

Ami jumped to her feet and turned to Makoto angrily. "Explain why you've been acting so distant all week! Tell me why your apartment is so empty, and why most of your belongings are gone! If you're moving to another apartment, you would probably be there, and I wouldn't have been in the dark about it! None of us would have."

"I… I can't tell you that. I don't want you to know yet. No one was supposed to find out until…" Makoto sighed, her shoulders slumping as she looked at her feet. "You weren't supposed to know for a few more days. I didn't want to tell anyone, and especially not you."

"Do you not trust me, us?"

"I trust you, all of you. This was just… I need to do this on my own, and I knew if I said something then you guys would try to help, to try and find another solution. But I can't tell you my problem, and there is no other solution!"

Ami knelt down beside Makoto and searched for her eyes with her own, but Makoto continuously kept hers moving away from the pools of blue that would ensnare her and prevent her from keeping the secret any longer. It was hard enough as it was, with Ami so close to her, one of her hands resting on the brunette's knee.

"Mako, please let me help you," Ami whispered. Then, even softer so that Makoto almost didn't hear, "Please don't run away from me right now, not like this… Not before I've even told you…"

Makoto knew Ami was trying not to cry again, and it tore her apart. She turned to Ami and lifted her chin, looking right into those blue eyes, trying to convey every emotion she felt into those blue orbs. Ami gasped, her eyes widening as she recognized one in particular, and those blue eyes threatened to spill over.

"Mako, why won't you say it, why _didn't_ you say it?" she breathed.

"Because I know you could never understand it, and that you'd never return those feelings. If I had admitted it before, you could have claimed to return them to keep me from the pain of one more rejection. I didn't want that, so I kept it from you."

"But why… You're leaving, aren't you, because of that?"

"Yes."

Ami's brows wrinkled in concern, and then her face contorted into anger, anger more fierce than Makoto had ever witnessed.

"That's why I came, Makoto. I wanted you to know how I felt, so that maybe it would stop eating me alive inside, the thought of never knowing. We're graduating tomorrow, and I wanted to share it with you and the others without that burden on my soul, my heart.

"I had the courage to tell my mother about my feelings for you, to tell her that no matter what happened tomorrow I would always feel this way, and she tried to keep me from leaving to tell you tonight. I defied her, because I wanted you to know as well.

"You're the Senshi of Courage, and yet you can't even take that one risk, the one that might make you happier than you've ever been? I guess… Perhaps I wasn't worth it to you after all."

Ami turned and stormed out, leaving a shocked Makoto on the futon, unable to process everything fast enough to stop her.

"Dammit!"

Makoto threw on her jacket and grabbed an umbrella before shoving her feet into her shoes and running after her. Ami had a good minute on her, and the girl could run when she wanted to, but Makoto was used to running, and she knew the path Ami took to and from her apartment by heart. After several blocks of hard running, she saw her target ahead; they were only a block apart, and Ami would be at her apartment building in just two more blocks.

"Ami! Ami, just stop running for a minute!" Makoto yelled, knowing that she was risking her breathing pattern and the resulting shortness of breath hit her shortly thereafter. "Dammit, Ami, can't I get a word in?"

Makoto was going to make it; she was determined to get her two cents in with the blue haired girl even if she had to storm through her apartment to do it, her mother be damned.

Ami was slowing down, her body finally screaming from the excursion. That was all Makoto needed to give her the boost she needed to finally catch up to her, grabbing her and pulling her close to her body.

"You know, if you get to rant like that, don't you think it's unfair to leave before I can too?" Makoto mumbled into the top of Ami's head. Ami snuggled close to her, her arms tightening around the other girl's waste. "I'm sure you don't want to go home yet. Will you let me speak first?"

Ami nodded, and Makoto opened the umbrella before pulling Ami off of her front and holding her chin so she could look her in the eye.

"I was running from you, yes. I didn't think you could ever like a tall, boyish girl like me. On top of that, despite what you keep saying about Urawa being just your friend, I was afraid that something might grow sooner or later and I'd be shit out of luck anyway.

"But it's not just because of you that I'm leaving. I needed to get away, to figure out what I'm good for. I don't want to be stuck with a restaurant or a flower shop, I don't want to have to worry about bookkeeping or employees or late hours. But, what else am I good at? That's what I need to know, Ami, that's also why I'm leaving. Sure, it's the smaller part, because I can do that here, but I think I need to get away from here. And I thought that… I never would have believed that you could…"

Ami kissed her, effectively shutting her up, which was okay with Makoto since she was babbling at that point anyway and she was enjoying the taste of Ami's lips.

After what seemed like an eternity, Ami finally pulled away. Makoto rested her forehead to hers with a small grin that Ami duplicated slowly, their eyes meeting and telling each other what they never thought the other would say.

_I love you…_

_

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**I hope that was all right. I mean, I was sort of nervous about a few parts, and I'm sure that you'll be able to figure them out now that you've read it. I didn't want the word "love" anywhere until the end, so that made it a little more complicated.**

**There will be a "sequel" to this, because I had started handwriting a story when I decided that there was an element missing and so it needed a prequel, and so then I just... kept the idea locked away in my mental lockbox until I decided to type it... But yeah. Now I just need to finish _Country Living_, and see what you readers think of the other story idea I threw out there... And then I'll start writing on one or both of them.**

**So, yeah... If you think that a sequel to this would undermine the story, then I will totally understand and will keep that in mind, but I think I'm eventually going to just get one out there sooner or later anyway, so... yeah...**

**Thank you to all of my readers!  
**


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